Power - authority

Charisma is something that really creates the leadership I beleive...Their authorities are much more accepted or naturally accepted by the others. These leaders support power with rather than power over. That creates a common goal...

In my company, I belive that I'm very lucky since I am working with such a manager. He never bothers or threatens anybody by using his authority. But, he has a great influence on the team members. He always gives the message of being in a same boat.

Feedback

Today Guiseppe used a very important sentence;

"to give a feedback is very difficult as well having a feedback"

I totally agree with it... To be honest I can say, for me arder to give a negative feedback than having a feedback from someone. I'm a project manager in my company, one of my responsibilities is giving feedbacks to the project team members and their managers. I don't feel myself while I want to say something negative. I'm trying to use sandwich method means; first saying the positive thing related with the negative one, then say the negative thing followed by a positive thing. It is better for me... a person whom I share the feedbacks doesnot feel worst at least:) But I think I have to learn it:)

Empathy

Once in a training that I have attended in my company, the trainer told that "being empathatic person is much more important and effective than being a sympathic person"... he explained being empathic as responding to a friend who is so angry as" I understand you are so angry" ... In this training I could not understand the main theme... I thought it is something very meaningless. If someone respond me in that way I would be more angry...

However, In our CCM course I understand being empathic is something different. It refers to a real understanding rather than being angry together ...

meeting the needs when you feel something

I really agree that it is the best way to find my need while I'm expressing a feeling. However, it doesn't work sometimes...I believe that a person whom you are communicating with, should also have the same approach. otherwise I can change nothing... As it is said by Mevlana;

"I can be understood at a level of a understanding capability of a person whom I'm communicating with"

do you agree?

Real feelings and observation

once I had participated in a psychodrama class. During this class I realized that it was the most difficult thing to express a feeling. Whenever I tried to express a feeling, I found myself as expressing a situation. I thought it was a problem caused by our way of being grown. If you are jelıous about your sister/brother, your parents say that you are not jelıous. Or if you are angry with someone who's elder than you, then they say you can not be angry to your elder ones.

I decided not to say the same things to my daughter:) starting form her baby hood, I always tried to express her feelings when she started to cry. one day I recieved an answer:)

I was angry to my capability of using a tele-command. At the same time, I was calling my 2.5 year old daughter and she didn't respond me at the first time. Them I started to behave her with my anger. she stopped and look at my face and ask whether I'm angry or not. I told yes... I was angry because she didn't respond me rapidly. she stopped me and told me "no you are angry with TV" I was shocked... and happy, and proud of my daughter... but I have to admit that I really make things more difficult for me:)

Active Listening

I think I will reach to Nirvana at the end of this course:)

In the last lesson, we discussed active listening. It is said that if we can not participate to the conversation, it is better to say "not now"

two or three months ago, an organizational change has occurred and I started to work with a new manager. Sometimes, when I wanted to tell something to him, I started to conversation by asking whether it is ok to talk now or not. however, to be honest, I didn't expect to have rejecting answer:) when I recieved this answer, I felt as if being refused... :) ok... from now on I will think that it is for active listening:)

Strategies for needs

I need to determine the right strategies for my needs for my conversations:) I'm trying... First attempt is ok, but I need to have this ability by nature... now I'm trying a lot:)