meeting the needs when you feel something

I really agree that it is the best way to find my need while I'm expressing a feeling. However, it doesn't work sometimes...I believe that a person whom you are communicating with, should also have the same approach. otherwise I can change nothing... As it is said by Mevlana;

"I can be understood at a level of a understanding capability of a person whom I'm communicating with"

do you agree?

Real feelings and observation

once I had participated in a psychodrama class. During this class I realized that it was the most difficult thing to express a feeling. Whenever I tried to express a feeling, I found myself as expressing a situation. I thought it was a problem caused by our way of being grown. If you are jelıous about your sister/brother, your parents say that you are not jelıous. Or if you are angry with someone who's elder than you, then they say you can not be angry to your elder ones.

I decided not to say the same things to my daughter:) starting form her baby hood, I always tried to express her feelings when she started to cry. one day I recieved an answer:)

I was angry to my capability of using a tele-command. At the same time, I was calling my 2.5 year old daughter and she didn't respond me at the first time. Them I started to behave her with my anger. she stopped and look at my face and ask whether I'm angry or not. I told yes... I was angry because she didn't respond me rapidly. she stopped me and told me "no you are angry with TV" I was shocked... and happy, and proud of my daughter... but I have to admit that I really make things more difficult for me:)

Active Listening

I think I will reach to Nirvana at the end of this course:)

In the last lesson, we discussed active listening. It is said that if we can not participate to the conversation, it is better to say "not now"

two or three months ago, an organizational change has occurred and I started to work with a new manager. Sometimes, when I wanted to tell something to him, I started to conversation by asking whether it is ok to talk now or not. however, to be honest, I didn't expect to have rejecting answer:) when I recieved this answer, I felt as if being refused... :) ok... from now on I will think that it is for active listening:)

Strategies for needs

I need to determine the right strategies for my needs for my conversations:) I'm trying... First attempt is ok, but I need to have this ability by nature... now I'm trying a lot:)

Needs

Needs...

"Everybody has the same needs. The conflicts are caused by the way that we choose to meet that needs" .. after the class that I have first started to think about this sentence, I realized that some of my negative communication experiences should have been managed better. I decided to think in accordance with this approach. It worked:) I have a better relation with one of my collegues. Because I realized that he didn't act opposite to me, he just try to meet one of his need. Then, I realized it was something situational, not personal...